HOLY COW !!!

Virtuous and Holy Mother Cow of India, I really wish I could moo to you that you are highly revered in our country. Also that people give a shit about your shit, urine, and flesh. You are everything that the Indian woman dreams to be-so that they can wander the streets at night and not get raped, every car stopping for them to cross and above all being worshiped. You maybe what the Romans would call barbarian, uncultured or uncivilised but its alright because you are "make in India."

I do respect you as a living being(thank you for the milk, its very kind of you) and I also admire the fact that you are a "vegetarian." I sincerely wonder why you are considered holy and yeah many religious fanatics have given unsound reasoning but I am going to make you holy today or at least shed some light on you and let people decide whether you should be holy or not.

I really feel for your sex deprived life(Oh the way you drool at the bulls) and you are indeed a specimen of Mother Mary in India. I am sorry that the growth of technology has really destroyed your life. But shake it off, you gave virgin birth, you are Holy!

I have a suggestion for you, don't grow old and die! Listen carefully Mow (mother+cow), holy should last forever, you cannot just grow old and die, what would people think of you? They would say you are just a rotting animal and that is not so Holy!

Well having traveled across India you maybe aware of the gutters in our roads and I would like you to do me a favour. Shit in the gutters, please shit in the gutters. Listen, the government is not concerned about the gutters so fill it with your shit and it will solidify and form cake and the gutters will be closed. Then imagine who you are going to be for the people, you are Holy!

Last but not the least, I want you to be very very careful. Being such a big celebrity and also so damn Holy you have death threats all around you. Stay away from Christians, Muslims and from the state of Kerala. Last day I heard these scary, terrorising people have declared an ambush against you. So be very careful.

But my my, don't worry even if you become a martyr, because, you are Holy! So even if somebody eats you, you even make them Holy. See, some people don't understand this fact. So tell them that you would like to purge people of all their unholiness by letting them eat you. By this great act you again make yourself extremely HOLY!